Hey Wondermeow! There are a few issues, but they aren't major.
The music in the intro decreases suddenly when you cut to the first shot after the title card.
The music is unbalanced with the audio. It is too low at the beginning, and it overpowers the dialogue at some point.
Lastly, the last cut is weird. You cut the last two shots while you're fading out, that doesn't look too well.
I hope I don't sound too harsh. Your stuff definitely has potential. I look forward to seeing more of your stuff!